It had only been a couple of days but it felt like forever. Rohan was not sure what made him feel the way he did. Was it the fever that drained his energy or was it Mansi’s walking out on him. There were chances of a relationship but they were not in one, yet, it felt as if she had abandoned him when he needed her.
He had always done his best to be there for her when she needed help, even though not exclusively from him. He cared for her and would have done anything for her but not now; not after the way she had treated him. She had not only humiliated him in front of his friends; she had also let him down by shattering the image he had formed of her in his mind – the image of a caring woman.
May be it was too much to expect but he thought she would have shown at least some concern after seeing the condition he was in. And, why was he in this condition in first place? Because he had bothered to be nice to her and drive her around the city because she had been upset. She had ill-treated him; stepped out of his cab and then pushed him away when he had tried to steady her on her feet. He had gone out of his way to make her smile and what had she done? She had walked right past his door even after seeing the pathetic condition he was in. She had looked at you once and you ignored her – a little voice in his head said. Yes, he had ignored her because he was hurt; she had humiliated him in front of his friends. And, the look she gave him was weird; it showed no emotions at all. What was he to make of it? Also, later on he had seen her walk past his room without a second look as if he was garbage.
He had always done his best to be there for her when she needed help, even though not exclusively from him. He cared for her and would have done anything for her but not now; not after the way she had treated him. She had not only humiliated him in front of his friends; she had also let him down by shattering the image he had formed of her in his mind – the image of a caring woman.
May be it was too much to expect but he thought she would have shown at least some concern after seeing the condition he was in. And, why was he in this condition in first place? Because he had bothered to be nice to her and drive her around the city because she had been upset. She had ill-treated him; stepped out of his cab and then pushed him away when he had tried to steady her on her feet. He had gone out of his way to make her smile and what had she done? She had walked right past his door even after seeing the pathetic condition he was in. She had looked at you once and you ignored her – a little voice in his head said. Yes, he had ignored her because he was hurt; she had humiliated him in front of his friends. And, the look she gave him was weird; it showed no emotions at all. What was he to make of it? Also, later on he had seen her walk past his room without a second look as if he was garbage.
Had he been in her shoes he would have at least registered some emotion on his face – the sign of humanity; even if she had been a stranger. Maybe she did not deserve him, maybe she deserved someone like the man he had seen her with. He had been shocked initially, to find her with that man but now he thought perhaps that man was the right choice for her.
Rohan banged his fist on the wall and screamed as it hurt. There was no one on the other side of the wall to object to the sound he made. He turned in bed and then pushing aside the blanket he sat up straight. He stood up slowly and managed to reach the kitchen to get a glass of water, he gulped down his medicines with water and threw the glass at the wall. As if, throwing things at the wall; assaulting the wall would in any way make him feel better.
It hurt more. His arm hurt. His head hurt. His entire body hurt. His heart was shattered. He had cried as much as he could as a man; there was no other way to let out the emotions. Why had he let this happen to him? Each time he closed his eyes he saw her walking past his room treating him like garbage and he felt infuriated.
He had watched her walk away with a duffle-bag; did it mean she was going out somewhere? He had wondered and his doubts had been confirmed when she had not returned to her room at night. He cursed himself for waiting for her return. He cursed himself for keeping the door of his room open even though he was cold. He hated himself for looking up towards the door whenever anyone walked past the door. He hated her for not showing up.
He had stayed home. Luckily, he could stay back at the room without anything or anyone forcing him out of the comfort. He had somehow managed to get out of the room and to the nearest chemist to buy medicines. That had been the only time he had left the room after she had left the chawl.
He did not feel like moving but he had to. He was not hungry, the thought of food made him nauseous but he had to eat. His friends had brought some food for him. They had avoided his gaze for a reason but he had seen the look in their eyes already. They pitied him. The girl he had started to fall in love with had humiliated him and ruined his reputation.
He sat back on the bed with the plate of food in his hand and his thoughts went back to the time he had spent with her. Their drive, the tea they had together and their near escape from the traffic police officer. He thought about how she looked when she was asleep in his cab. He visualized her face – the face that still haunted him.
He felt her touch as he thought about how she had pulled his hand off her shoulder and held it in her hand and brought it to her chest. He still remembered the fast rhythm of her heart. And, before he could finish chewing the first morsel of food; it dawned upon him that there was no way he could ever hate that girl.
He would always love her; no matter what.
